Do you believe in serendipity?
When paths cross and lifelong friendships blossom.
I don’t know if you believe in serendipity.
Let me clarify, you’ve got to believe in the word because it is just that - a word. It means the good luck you feel when you make an unexpected and valuable discovery.
Like when you bump into someone you’ve been thinking about, you haven’t seen in ages, in a place you wouldn’t expect to see them. E.g. I once bumped into a friend from St Kilda on a snorkelling boat off the Great Barrier Reef. I was on a school trip with 23 teenage girls. He was with his girlfriend. He now owns the cafe down my street. We still laugh about it. That’s a serendipitous meeting.
Or when you find something you need. Like when I’d been pondering reading James Clear’s Atomic Habits, and a couple of weeks later, there it was in a FREE box outside a house down a street I don’t usually take on my walk home from the tram stop.
The ‘believe’ part comes in when (if) you consider HOW serendipity comes about.
The dictionary definition goes on to offer
'“fluke, good fortune, good luck, a stroke of luck.”
And anyone who’s studied Romeo and Juliet (as I do every year in my Year 9 classroom) knows, when we’re in the realms of discussing ‘fortune’, we’re usually opening up the Fate debate.
The more spiritual among us might attribute the people I ‘bump into’ or the things I receive to me being a badass manifester. It’s a thing (apparently). We can think about stuff, and it turns up. It happens to me a lot. With books I want to read, clothes I want to buy from the charity shop, and money I need in my bank, I seem to be provided for in ways I can’t explain. The Gabrielle Bernsteins of the world call it ‘manifestation’.
Scientific minds call all of that ‘coincidence.’ It’s random. There are studies and hypotheses all over the internet that show how humans are meaning-making machines and thus make up a story, or a mystery, to satisfy the need to know how and why a ‘serendipity’ happened. (See diagram).
Spiritual folk might attribute the random but welcome happenstance as being ‘by design’ - it’s The Universe at work. It’s giving us what we need when we need it. Often sending people, things, and events our way when we’re ready for them. Part of an energetic push and pull as we change our vibrations and draw what matches our energetic field.
Religious folk might call that God.
I love saying the word ‘serendipity’. It feels good in the mouth.
And I love to believe these puzzling and lovely moments are sent by something I can’t comprehend. A god or goddess of my misunderstanding, if you like. I prefer to believe that there’s some magic in the universe that orchestrates the wonderful coincidences that I’ve experienced. So many of them that I’ve lost count, and it’d take a book to catalogue them.
They’re my little miracles.
Serendipity strikes - from Australia to New Zealand
I met Adrienne in a cafe in St Kilda East in 2017. I was interviewing Daniel, an accountant who’d applied for the position of board treasurer for Shine - the charity I’d founded. Sidenote: Daniel and I had bizarre connections that spanned the same people and places in Cambodia and Australia that felt way more than a coincidence. He was meant to be.
As Daniel and I shared stories of the same strip of bars and beach, then got onto what I was doing with Shine, its vision and needs, there was a woman in the background. She was busy on her laptop. Adrienne.
I wasn’t aware during the interview. By the time Daniel and I wrapped up, she’d gone. But she’d overheard our conversation, was interested in how she could be of help, and had left her name and phone number scribbled on a napkin with the cafe owner.
I texted her that night and called her the next day. She shared her experience in the non-profit and impact space, her skill set in org structure, project management, strategy and impact measurement and offered to join us. Adrienne had all the things I was lacking!
She explained what was relatively new to me. That I was a visionary, and I wasn’t expected to do all the things that I considered gaps in my knowledge or my interest. My job was to be the big picture, the connection between Otres, Cambodia and Melbourne, and to excite and drive the team.
Adrienne joined the board. We worked together for three years. We spent long-long days strategic planning, hours and hours in risk assessment and rewriting policy, and two weeks in Cambodia together.
We did some great work together, and our friendship blossomed on the foundation of values-aligned work. There’s nothing quite like being the kind of useful that puts food in the mouths of hungry children and educates those who would otherwise be on the streets or at work by the age of 10.
Life changes
Just before COVID struck, Adrienne moved to Sydney, and it was time anyway for Shine to refresh board positions. We said goodbye as ‘colleagues’ of sorts, but nourished our friendship through texts and video calls.
The COVID years and beyond brought Adrienne new work, a new partner, a new baby and a new home in Wellington, New Zealand. I’ve been blessed to see her on return-to-Melbourne visits and to meet her little one, Arti.
And now, I’m with them in ‘Welly’, writing from their dining table looking out over panoramic views of the city, mountains, and double bay.
Our conversations are about social justice, spirituality, and making the most of our one precious life. Brendan, her partner, gives his logical slants on our whimsy and wonder in the mysteries of the universe, and we meet in the middle, agreeing it’s all awe and wonder, no matter if it’s all created by science or spirit.
I’ve discovered that being around Arti slows me down. The pace of life parenting a 15-month-old centres around feeding time, sleepy time, and playtime. And with no schedule to keep to, I’ve quickly adjusted to going-with-the-baby flow. I love watching Arti as she totters around the house discovering textures of new foods, requesting very specific books to read using the two main words in her repertoire, “Dadda,” and “Mama”, and reaching her chuchy hands up for a cuddle.
Earlier this year, I contemplated what to do with my winter school holidays. My MO is to be in England (but I did that in February for a funeral), or I go on solo writing breaks. I almost booked a week in Country Victoria to edit the memoir from start to finish. But when I thought of being alone, I didn’t want that for myself. I’m very good at it - I don’t need more right now. I’ve been enjoying the connection with my loved ones, be they family or friends.
So, I reached out to Adrienne.
By the time the trip came around, I’d ditched the idea of editing. I needed a break from my personal story and the perspective that distance brings.
Instead, I was intent on smashing out the e-book I’m writing.
But Wellington and family life had different plans for me. I’d packed several ‘textbooks’, a notebook, my laptop stand, and recording gear (in case I wanted to do TikTok vids), all for REAL HAPPY chapters and content.
The minute I settled into Adrienne and Brendan’s 1920s house-on-the-hill with views over the city of the valley and bays, I relaxed. Completely.
All I wanted to do was to be present. To enjoy the conversation and laughs with my hosts, to bond with Arti and soak in the special moments, and to explore.
In the moments when the ‘shoulds’ invaded about being productive, I reminded myself that I will not regret BEING with my friends. I would regret DOING work that takes me away from them.
So, I shared the Preface to the e-book on Thursday, as promised. I’ll finish the intro by next Thursday. The rest I trust to unfold week-by-week.
On that note, I’ve been finding it a little tricky to propel myself forward with structure and clarity. When I created Shine Cambodia, I had a co-founder in Cambodia and a team in Melbourne. It was easy to have massive energy and focus. I reflected on this with Adrienne, who’s an expert in systems, processes, and roadmaps. She’s offered to ‘roadmap’ REAL HAPPY and hold me accountable with monthly check-ins. We created something beautiful with Shine, and we’re going to do it again to help reduce the impact of screen time and help parents and kids lead more present lives.
My trip to Wellington will end on Wednesday with the gift of working with Adrienne again and the promise that I’ll be back. I want to witness Arti as she grows up. And unlike most of the rest of my round-the-world friends, these guys are close!
I don’t know if serendipity is pure chance, higher consciousness connecting like-minded souls, or a god-job, and it doesn’t matter.
I’m blessed that a meeting in a cafe in 2017 led me to Wellington in 2025, and that my soul cup is completely full from true friendship.
That’s all, folks.
Over and out.
Love you.
Mwah. 💋
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The world needs more serendipitous magic ✨
I definitely believe in the magic of it all. Because a) what's the harm and b) we are all connected by energy we can understand and forces we can't. I'll take serendipity over coincidence any day!