The 7 deadly sins in my suitcase
It's begun. I'm at the airport. Flight delayed. Here's my packing drama - from suitcase to sex toys.
I don’t know how the hell people pack a capsule wardrobe—or travel light, full stop.
I’ve been packing for weeks, chopping and changing my choices, and I still maxed out my case and hand luggage in weight.
The funny part is that I was a cheapskate when I bought the flight from Melbourne to Honolulu. I chose 20kg of check-in luggage with Jetstar (enticed by the $378 bargain) and then illogically spent a fortune on the lightest, most perfect items to travel with.
One week ago, I realised how dumb it is to be bum-clenching at the dreaded weigh-in. I can afford an extra $50 for 5kgs to avoid being charged $75 a kilo for an overweight bag. Duh. So, I hopped online and added the additional weight. I’d already bought the lightest case I could find (a 2.7kg American Tourister that doesn’t expand), now stuffed to its seams.
Guess what? It weighs 19kgs. 😆
Anyway, here’s a sneak peek into my packing and a slightly peculiar association with the 7 deadly sins, thanks to some recent reading material on living a more spiritual life.
I’ll start with the portable office and GREED.
I’m travelling with the home office of an influencer (which I am not). This is a demonstration of busy mind. Always trying to cover ALL the bases. What if I want to XYZ?
Meaning, I might write the memoir. I might work on my copywriting business. I might share on socials and blog. I might want video/audio in that. I might want to block noise out (I have ADHD so have 2 set of noise cancelling headphones/airPods). You’ll see pictured all the gear. A 15” MacBook Air. It’s not like air. It’s heavy. A second screen. A microphone, tripod, light, a battery pack, adapter, and a load of leads.
What’s this got to do with greed? It’s about the need I have to be more. To find that thing. My purpose. My talent. To be rich. To be famous. But at the same time to be all by myself and cut off from the world. Interesting dichotomy, right?
That’s the ego for ya. Inflated and wants to be seen and significant.
And full of self-consciousness so wants to hide.
Bless ya, Suze. Chill out. You’re a spirit having a human experience and you’re everything you need to be already. Pep talk over.
Sort of related to being the next Elizabeth Gilbert, is the stationary and reading device. The e-reader is locked and loaded with books on writing and reading for pleasure. The pleasure books are usually memoirs. (See what I’m up to there?) 🙄
I paid a bomb for the new Kobo Elipsa E2 e-Reader and then decided I wanted fancy fountain pens and paper anyway!
What have these got to do with sin? I’m going for SLOTH. In two ways.
One, because I can be a master procrastinator and losing myself in literature is a sure-fire way to avoid life. I love nothing more than reading 5 books a month, laid in the sun or propped up on plush pillows in bed.
Two, because this is my attempt to do things slowly. Instead of frantically typing and attaching to a word count, I’m trying handwriting. Using fancy flowing curly script to steadily ooze my creativity onto the smooth Japanese paper of the notebooks bought at Milligram. Sounds romantic. It’ll be agony. I can tell just thinking about it.
I’m travelling with a box of medication on show and it isn’t great for my street cred. I PRIDE myself in being strong and healthy and feel infallible at times. The cold storage bag I have to take as carry-on is a public display of illness. I have a type of rheumatoid arthritis that needs heavy duty drugs to keep in remission. Pictured, is the trip’s supply. I asked my specialist for a ‘medication holiday’ because I didn’t want the faff and coz I think I’m better than this. The answer was a hard ‘no’. So, because I don’t know best, I’m lugging them between fridges across the world.
(One day, I hope to find a natural way to treat it - please don’t give me health advice here, I do know about them, it’s just not my time - and I’m fascinated by the chapter in The Body Keeps The Score called ‘The Power of Self-Compassion: IFS in the Treatment of Rheumatoid Arthritis’, suggests that trauma caused this and there is a way to heal).
Ta-da, we’re onto my GLUTTONOUS wardrobe. I’m a greedy op-shop colour pig. I love to look at a visual feast of choices when I get dressed in the morning.
It only takes 5 minutes to pull a look together. And it brings me so much joy. I ask myself, ‘who do you wanna be today?’ and the vision manifests.
The problem is, I never know what I want to dress like ahead of time, or what mood I’ll be in. So packing for any trip is a nightmare.
Comfort and colour is key. It’s gotta be playful and practical. And I need (want) lots of looks.
Take a peek at the picture for how I did. Thoughts? I think I did pretty well for 5.5 months of mainly tropical locations. And I’ll be pillaging my England-bestie’s wardrobe to cover the notoriously unpredictable British summer. (Thanks, Marie).
Now I wasn’t sure how to get WRATH in here, as I’m not a very wrathy person. I’m more of a simmering self-rightous ‘I think I’m right but I won’t say it,’ kinda anger gal.
But, I think it could manifest in the form of questions like…what have I forgotten? What shoulda-coulda-woulda I brought if only I was a savvy packer?
When I get on that regretful thinking loop, I’ll be ready for it. With a big FAT, so what? Doesn’t matter. Get a grip, Woman.
Okay, we’re nearly there. ENVY.
I’m attaching this to my exercise kit. And the ‘god I wish I had a six-pack and buns of steel’ dream. And I wish I could swim with my face in the water without having to stand up half way across the pool.
But you know what? I’m fit for my age. I’m 46 and a half and I look f*cking great. And, I can learn to swim if I get in the bloody pool more than once every 6 months. So watch this space for swim progress.
As for the abs and bum cheeks, I don’t really want the body of a 20-year-old. I’m pretty body positive about myself after a lot of mindset work. Keeping in a fitness routine does my insides and outsides the world of good. So, I have what I need to keep that up when I can’t get to a gym. No excuses.
Are you ready for number 7?
Last but definitely not least…
LUST.
Yes, I’m taking a brand new bullet vibrator. It’s locally sourced from St Kilda's sex shop and took careful choosing for its travel-sizeness, USB charging and colour.
Next up, we have condoms and lube in case I decide some stud or studess muffin takes my fancy. 😆
Now for more practical items…travel knickers from Paire with a silk gusset (what a fabulous word) that dry in 60 seconds under a handdrier for ultimate freshness and convenience. They come in tiny boxes, hence the name ‘Lipstick Underwear.’
And finally, vagina probiotics. Coz, like when you need probotics for your tummy, you just don’t know what tropical climes can do to your natural flora and fauna down below! All bases are covered. Literally.
So here we are. I’m coming to you live from Melbourne departure lounge. Happy to be checked into an almost empty airport. That’s such a new experience for a teacher who usually travels in peak season. Happy to have a $15 food voucher for a 2-hour delay (that I spent on a Vietnamese beef noodle salad). Happy to be sharing this with you. Whoever you are.
Thank you for sharing this trip of a lifetime with me. I hope you enjoy my writing.
Turns out you would not have fitted in my suitcase!
Much love.
Mwah.
💋
