I don’t know if you know, but Zen is a way of life. A ‘spirit of life’ rather than a spiritual life.
These were the words of Master Fushin, whose monastery I just spent a week in. It’s up a mountain overlooking the valleys near Maleny in Queensland, literally, above the clouds in some heaven on earth.
My spiritual mentor, Scott, has been there for two months, so I figured I’d visit him and see what all the zen fuss was about.
I studied Buddhism during my A levels, a long 30 years ago. I was interested in all sorts of theology, searching for solace, I guess. I didn’t have a chance at a zen state whilst I was consumed by trauma and doing my best to escape by getting drunk and high.
This time, I was ready to go all in and see what came out.
I was lucky, the rains stopped the day I arrived. Scott said it’d been raining nonstop for months. The rainiest wet season in decades. He shared that the damp and constant downpours had started to affect his mood. A kind of SAD (seasonal affective disorder). He’d asked Fushin’s wife, Rose, for advice…
“I’m struggling with all this rain. How do you cope?”
She gave the zen answer, “What rain?”
Boom.
I settled into my room, which I described as a mindfulness cell, because it was dark due to a solid wood door and a tiny window. I spent little time in there, instead sitting on one of the many outdoor sofas overlooking the divine vistas.
Because I wanted a new experience, and I hadn’t done a ‘silence’ since being sponsored for 24 hours for it in the Girl Guides (there were a lot of sceptics for some reason), I chose to be quiet until midday.
The first morning of my ‘noble silence’ lasted five minutes. I woke up at 6 am, bleary-eyed from a disturbed night’s sleep thanks to critters on the tin roof and a soft mattress. A fellow meditator was already in the kitchen. Out of habit and politeness, I greeted him with “Morning. How are you?” before remembering I wasn’t supposed to talk. I went back to my room and wrote the word "silence" on the cardboard of a finished toilet roll, positioning it on the sink, ready for the following day.
Inspiration in the open
There’s nothing quite like an amazing view to get the creative juices flowing. And there’s a very special sacredness to be found in the treetops, looking out over a valley that’s cocooned in clouds, listening to the “cacaw” of cockatoos and “ting” bell birds. Every morning was spent editing (I managed to complete over 12,000 words), gazing into the foggy cauldron of a valley below.
At 8:30 am, there was zazen, a type of meditation. The guests sat on yoga mats, cushions, and were wrapped in blankets, listening to the striking of a bamboo instrument, and fell into 20 minutes of supposed peace and tranquillity. Zazen is not like meditation, where you focus on the breath or a mantra. It’s going inward to the true self and being in the now. It’s hard!


4:30 pm was yoga. Yoga isn’t for stretching or a form of exercise; it’s preparation for meditation or a meditation in itself. I learnt so much, mainly that my mind is mental and doesn’t like to shut up.
Also that I’m a greedy bugger when on holiday, so ate huge lunches which required a ‘nana nap’ at 2:30 pm followed by a form of yoga where you clench your butt cheeks because you’re trying not to fart!
A dharma talk followed some yoga sessions. The dharma is the knowledge of the universe. They’re the truths. We were taught about the need to ‘polish our mirror’ to see clearly, not to squander our precious lives, and that enlightenment is available in every moment.
I resonated hard with the idea that we create our own suffering through desire. Through fear of either losing what we have or not getting what we want. If only I could practice non-attachment, life would be so much easier. That pesky ego of mine keeps me out of peace and happiness.


What else did I love and want to take on?
That Zen is a single-mindedness. When you eat food, eat the food. When you sit, sit. That’s all well and good for someone who hasn’t got ADD. I will try my best to do one thing at a time - she thinks about this morning, using an electric toothbrush with purple toothpaste while simultaneously putting her rings on. It was quite the facial acrobatics and ended in a minty mess.
Also, I need to be careful with my words. I am not suffering. I am not in pain.
“There is the presence of suffering.” Fushin taught.
Don’t identify as the hard thing. That made a lot of sense.
And finally, to be awake and aware. As hard as that is. Sometimes, since I’ve led a spiritually awakened life, there are moments when I’ve wished I were back asleep. It’s hard work being responsible and aware of your impact on the world, as well as being sensitive to energy.
If we’re Buddhist or being like a Buddhist (Fushin said we’re all baby Buddhas - love that), then we’re aware and awake to ourselves, the environment and the universe; we live a life of compassion, including self-compassion, generosity, being of benefit to others, understanding our oneness with others and the world. Doing that mindfully will bring contentment and happiness into our lives, ending our suffering now.
Yes, please. I’m up for all of that. Both the living a ‘good’ life outwardly and getting the happiness, cash, and prizes. ;)
On a serious note, Zen Buddhism spoke to me.
The forest spoke to me. It said, You need to be with me. I swear every time I go somewhere beautiful, I have a vision of living there permanently, and hatch a plan to move. There aren’t any immediate plans, but I’m paying attention to how much I love the serenity found in that kind of space.
Back to life, back to reality
There’s more I could say (and will at the weekend) but for now, I’m buggered.
I got back to Melbourne last night. I took an Uber from the airport to pick up my friend’s car (I sold mine before taking long-service leave, and I’m seeing how I get along without one - so far, so good). I unpacked, did a load of laundry, went to Aldi, prepared food for work, meditated, and went to bed with a book.
I woke up at 4:55 am, meditated twice, arrived at work mega early, listened to numerous talks, and wrote lesson plans, all while gearing up for the kids’ exams. I had a business pivot idea on the way to work, and got overwhelmed in traffic and at the post office on the way home from work.
And now I’m writing a Substack so I’m not late for you guys.
I am back to life and reality.
It’s a shock.
But I am also full of joy.
So for now, I’ll sign off and rest. I’ll be back with more zen and more life at the weekend.
Until then, love to you all.
Mwah. 💋
Just finding you. Inspiring.
Sounds like a wonderful time. Selfishly very glad you're home 💜